| Me Too |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|12:47 am] |
Electricity spans the small space between your thigh and mine as we sit beside each other, pretending not to feel the sparks. Just one touch of your hand could cause me to spontaneously burst into flames; of this I am absolutely certain. Tension in the room so thick that I'm having trouble holding myself upright, leaning slightly toward you. Body language blatantly obvious, anyone who can see knows our hearts are connected. I've never spent so much time trying to resist something I want more than anything in the world; more than I want air to breathe.
We sit in silence, knowing that nothing we say could drown out the promises we've both made to others, shrieking in our own minds. With barely a sideways glance, my eyes are glued to yours, waiting for any opportunity to let them speak the volumes that are buried in my soul. Nervous energy surrounds us individually, like force fields, designed to keep the other at bay, regardless of primitive impulse, primal desire. Without warning you stand and walk to the door, peering out at nothing, in an attempt to resist temptation.
Leaning against the back of the sofa, I close my eyes, a vision of arms and legs floundering, two bodies striving to merge into one, floods my consciousness. I open them abruptly, almost ashamed to witness such a private moment. A frustrated sigh escapes my lips. You turn in my direction, just in time to see the crimson creeping around from my ears. I look away, convinced that you can read my mind, an array of emotion bringing on tears. I try to blink them back, but your words cause them to spill over. "Me too," is all you can get out before your voice begins to crack. Two simple words, spoken at this moment, mean more than any others ever could. |
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| Not again! |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|06:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
Just to clear up any confusion, I'm am not cool with you and Keith being buddies. I'm not a jealous person but do have a huge problem with the messages between the two of you that I read. I know that most of that was on him and that was dealt with between the two of us but you and I have established the fact that we are not separated, he is completely married and we have no intentions of changing that. You were all but forgotten as far as I was concerned and I assumed that all contact between you two was done, then this "buying" him from me started. If I considered you a friend this would not bother me in the least but after you showed that you think there's nothing wrong with sending pictures of your naked ass to a married man, I'm not seeing where you are the type of person that I would befriend.
According to him, he's not spoken to you or given you reason to believe that you can be all friendly with each other. If there's something that I need to know, now would be a good time to enlighten me...if not, I'm just letting you know that it's time to back off...not cute..at all! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|06:08 pm] |
| You're a Playful Kisser | 
Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and play
You're the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a party
Or you'll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dare
And you're up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|06:00 pm] |
Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover
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You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.
And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.
You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.
It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.
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| He totally owes me an apology..... |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|12:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
Yesterday afternoon when I was shopping for clothes for my hubby (because he wore all of his good jeans to work and ruined them) I got a call from an unknown number. My friend Tracy had my phone and I was on the other side of the store, so she didn't answer. About 15 minutes later, hubby calls from a phone that wasn't his own. The first thing he said was "Do you plan to pay my phone bill any time this month?" It wasn't so much what he said, as how he said it that really got under my skin. His phone had been disconnected and he assumed that I hadn't paid the bill. In our little world, he earns the money and I take care of everything else, so I can see why he would be upset if his phone was turned off and assume that I hadn't paid the bill, but there had to be a better way to go about asking if I knew why his phone wasn't working. So after about 10 seconds of arguing, he hung up on me! Fact was, I hadn't paid the bill this month, but it's not due until the 29th. So I called the wireless company to find out what the problem was. I pushed 1 for information in English, then 3 to check my balance, then 1 again to enter my moblie number, starting with the area code first, then stood on my head and recited the alphabet, then spun around twice and pushed the age I was when I first ate solid food, then 0 to speak to a "customer service representative". After about 45 minutes on the phone lingering somewhere between that fabulous recorded message, with beautiful background music that you listen to on hold, and with a totally incompetant "customer service representative", whose call was being recorded for quality assurance, he came to a conclusion. The phones on that account had been inturrupted due to my husband not giving them a landline contact number! Oh lookie.... it's not my fault! It's HIS!!!
I came home a bit later with a teeny weenie attitude and told him that I thought he owed me an apology. His sarcastic remark: "oh do you now?" I thought I was going to go through the roof! This man really needs to learn when sarcasm is appropriate and when it's not! I still haven't gotten a sincere apology, nor am I over it! I think I have the right to be pissy! |
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| I's proud of mines Englash skylls! |
[Apr. 14th, 2005|12:09 am] |
English Genius
You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 93% Expert! |
You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!
Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!
For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 60% on Beginner |
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You scored higher than 66% on Intermediate |
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You scored higher than 38% on Advanced |
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You scored higher than 97% on Expert |
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If someone could explain how I could only be in the 60th percentile on beginner skills, and have a score of 100%, please enlighten me! |
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| So Tam got me to take this personality test..... |
[Mar. 4th, 2005|03:07 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
Extroverted (E) 80.65% Introverted (I) 19.35%
Sensing (S) 51.35% Intuitive (N) 48.65%
Feeling (F) 69.44% Thinking (T) 30.56%
Perceiving (P) 77.14% Judging (J) 22.86%
outgoing, social, group oriented, dislikes science fiction, does not like to be alone, good at getting people to have fun, values relationships and family over intellectual pursuits, open, likes to dance, spontaneous, underachieving, unprepared, emotional, values organized religion, easy to persuade, easy to impress, not analytical, disorganized, prone to crying, likes to be center of attention, happy, trusts others, influenced more by others than self
I thought it was quite accurate. Shocking becuase these things are usually not good at analyzing me! So now that you know my strengths and weaknesses, you take the quiz and post your results!
Sooooo..... I went back and took a compatability test to see how compatible I am with the hubby.... this is what they said!
Big Five Compatibility Test | Extroversion | |||||||||||||||||| | 72% | | |||||||||||||||||| | 72% | | Friendliness | |||||||||||||||||||| | 86% | | |||||||||||||| | 54% | | Orderliness | |||||||||| | 34% | | |||||||||| | 36% | | Emotional Stability | |||| | 20% | | |||||||||||||||||||| | 82% | | Openmindedness | |||||||||||||| | 54% | | |||||||||||||||| | 64% | | scale key - you |||||| them |||||| | Your overall similarity is 73%. Your overall complementarity is 63%. | Take Free Big Five Compatibility Test
So is that good or bad??? Anyone know? If I had to guess, I would say that it's more good than bad! What do you think? |
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| The confusing house deal |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|05:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
In an attempt to clear this whole situation up for my dear friend, I will post about what I know at this point! A couple days ago, my dad called and told us that a house that we had looked at a year or so ago was empty again. The guy who originally owned it had attempted to sell it on land contract, and obviously the people who moved there had defaulted. The asking price back when we looked at it was much too high for us. We didn’t feel that we could pay that price at that time, nor did we feel that the house was worth that much money. It is an old house that someone had made into 2 apartments. There are still 2 apartments in it, (one upstairs, one down) but it can be easily converted back to the original layout. The idea back then, had the owner come down to our offer, was to live downstairs and rent the little apartment upstairs for $400 a month.
We talked to the owner today and are looking at it at 7:00 tonight. The asking price has come down to our original offer last year. The people who tried to buy it and failed left the place a disaster, but structurally, it’s still the same.
It’s a nice place, but last I knew, we were going to go to Florida this summer and look for someplace to live there! Now my DH has decided that we should buy that house! I am as confused as the rest of you. Like I keep saying, “It’s Keith’s world, I’m just along for the ride!”
I did get him to explain this to me somewhat. He said that we can buy that house, then if we end up living in Florida, we will rent it as 2 apartments and that will take care of the payment plus give a little extra income to finance our place in Florida. It is a great theory that he has, but my fear is that I will be stuck here now because we will OWN something. Anyone who knows me well, knows that this is my biggest fear! I hate to feel trapped. Most people DREAM of owning their own home, I personally see it as a prison.
I have no idea what is going on around here, but I am pretty sure I will know something sometime after 7 this evening. I’ll let you know what I know then! |
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| My rant for today... |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|11:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
O.k.... not much time to rant about this, but gonna give you a quick overview before I go to bed.
The people that live next door to me, J & S, are both 22 years old and they have 2 children... 3 year old and a 2 year old. They are constantly in financial trouble and we used to help them out where we could, but when they got married and she quit her job the next day and then he "collected un-employment for a living" for over 6 months, we decided that the only thing we would be able to give them any more is leads on decent jobs! They are consistantly behind on their rent and tend to have their heat turned off when it starts to get cold! I read in the paper no less than a month ago that they were being sued by the landlord for non-payment!
So they got their tax check back this week. I don't know exactly how much it was, not important, but tonight J (the hubby) called Keith and asked him to go over there to see something. Keith came back home after the visit shaking his head. J had bought a big screen television complete with a home theater system and bought S an brand new computer! Along with that, S (the wife) had already asked if I would go shopping for new clothes with her! Stress! I may be a little petty for asking this question.. but why are we punished for paying our bills completely and on time and they end up with really cool shit for doing just the opposite! I would love to know! Neither of them worked more than 6 months of 2004, so I'm sure that having the kids and her being a full time student got them Earned Income Tax Credit and that's what made their return so high!
Just pisses me off!!! |
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| Well, I found something to post! |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|03:33 am] |
You Know You're From Indiana When... |
You drive for three hours and the scenery outside doesn't change.
There's three feet of snow on the ground and school is still in session.
You only go to the mall once a year 'cause it takes too long to get there.
While driving all you see is corn.
People still have Christmas decorations up at Easter.
You start saying to yourself "More than corn in Indiana my butt."
Anyone with a cell phone looks out of place.
Walking through Wal-Mart with two carts full of kids is normal.
Wnyone with a tan is rich.
The hip hang-out place is McDonald's.
There really is more than corn in Indiana. There’s soybeans, too.
When you plan an orgy and a Euchre game breaks out.
A restaurant has an invisible wall in the non-smoking section and you believe it works.
Speeding consists of 2 miles over the speed limit.
You think you don't have to use a turn signal on your car because you don't use it on your tractor.
You build your dream house on a cornfield, and you considered it posh.
You warsh your clothes and you think George Warshington was the first president.
You're proud to be called a Hoosier, even if you don't know what one is.
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute"
Detassling was your first job. Bailing hay, your second.
You can stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off, and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops all in the same day.
You say things like "catty-wumpus" and "kitty-corner".
You own a dirtbike or a ATV.
You live in a city ... and there's a cornfield in your backyard.
High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend nights than movie theaters.
You can see at least 2 basketball hoops from your yard.
You can name every one of Bob Knight's "exploits" over the last few years.
You shop at Marsh.
Damon Bailey was your childhood hero.
The biggest question of your youth was "IU or Purdue?"
Indianapolis is the "big city".
"Getting caught by a train" is a legitimate excuse for being late to school.
People at your high school chewed tobacco.
Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, and whether he is at home or on duty.
You actually know what the CART vs IRL debate is about and have taken a side.
To you, a raccoon is simply a "coon".
The vehicle of choice in your area is not a car, but a pickup.
Someone you know is BIG John Mellencamp fan.
You've been to the Covered Bridge Festival.
To you, a tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles.
You call a green bell pepper a "mango".
Sometimes, you call the toilet the "commode" or the "stool".
In the fall, one of your favorite pranks was corning cars.
You know what FFA and 4H stand for.
You know what chip-and-seal is, and your high school was located on just such a road.
You go the county fair every night of it's week-long duration.
You can say "French Lick" without laughing out loud.
There's actually a college near you named "Ball State."
The last "g" is silent in any word ending in "ing."
You think the state Bird is Larry.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Indiana.
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I found this rather interesting... was deeply disappointed that I didn't fit into the Florida catagory more... guess I have officially spent entirely too much time here now! |
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| This is really starting to piss me off! |
[Feb. 22nd, 2005|03:00 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
So I just finished writing this long entry, and somehow (for the 3rd time this week) when I try to post it, there is an issue with the server and I lose it all! So now I'm pissed and not going to rewrite it.... so maybe tomorrow I'll be over it and try again!!! |
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| BOO HISS BOO! |
[Feb. 7th, 2005|03:41 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  dorky | ] |
Best Blonde Joke Of The Year .... So Far
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?"she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop." |
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| Keith's gone again... |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|04:19 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
So here I sit, all alone and sleepless once again. I should be used to him being gone by now, but for some reason, maybe it was his being home during the holidays, I miss him terribly. He just left at 10 this morning... well, I guess it was yesterday morning seeing as it's 4:20 a.m. I haven't been this insecure for a long time. Seems strange to actually worry about things. Maybe it's because we are still pretty broke from all my Christmas buying excursions. I never realized how much money meant to me, until now. Normally, it's the furthest thing from my mind, providing I remembered to pay all the bills. This month, I probably won't have the luxury of just sitting down whenever I feel like it and writing all the monthly checks. I will have to watch the bank account and the due dates to make sure there is enough money to pay each one before I write the check. That sucks! There isn't really enough in savings right now to transfer. I could move it I guess, but I don't think it's enough to pay all the bills for the month. I just realized today exactly how much we have going out each month in bills. For no more than we have, we sure do pay an awful lot out each month. I've decided that we aren't eating out every night that he's home anymore. I've also decided that I'm not taking everyone else in the county out for dinner when I get bored anymore either. That is a huge waste of money! I think my solution for that is to actually cook food at home. I don't know why I don't do that more than I do. I love to cook, and I'm pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. Most of my friends here like to come over for dinner when I do cook something, I just hate cleaning up the mess when I cook! It's hard to keep everything sparkly when you keep splattering food all over the stove and dirtying dishes. I have a $90 beef tenderloin in the freezer. I was going to cook it with white wine and rosemary for Easter, but maybe I'll cook it for my dad's birthday. That's on the 8th of this month. I'm supposed to leave for Florida that day, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that yet or not. Things change so quickly around here, I don't know if I'm coming or going. (Boy am I rambling... but I'm bored, tired, and it's MY journal dammit!)
O.k. Let's go back to the 'missing Keith' thing. I can't help but wonder if this isn't some cruel joke that God is playing on me for threatening to leave him a couple weeks ago. Karma! Hate it! I didn't think that I was in love with him anymore. I thought that he wasn't in love with me anymore. We couldn't stop fighting for like 2 days (mind you, that's never happened... fights around here usually last about 2 minutes). I thought that was my cue to pack up and go. I guess I could have packed him up and sent him on his way, but I have no idea how I would pay the bills here all by myself. Either way, between my dad and Tammy, they made me see that I would be totally miserable without him, so I stayed. I think that I was so used to him being gone at least 75% of the time, that I didn't remember how to go about everyday life with another person in my house. When he was home almost every night for 3 months in a row, I had to make a lot of adjustments in the way I do things, and of course, he doesn't make near as much money when he's home. I am not here because of the money, don't get me wrong, but he has provided me a certain lifestyle, and I'm not ready to give that up. I guess that the biggest problem is that we rarely spend 3 nights in a row together, unless we're on vacation, and then we were forced to spend every night for 3 months together with very little money. The only experience we really have with spending time together is when we're on a vacation (which for those of you who don't know, we do at least a week, 4 times a year), and that setting is completely different than home. I kept wanting to go to the movies, the mall, to the museums, to see a musical, anything, and he had to tell me no, because there wasn't enough money. Number 1, I don't like to be told "no" and number 2, honestly (don't tell anyone), I have no true concept of money. Having the "bank of dad" until I grew up and got a job, and then being a bartender for so long, money was never an issue. If I ran out today, it was no big deal because I would get more tomorrow. Well, needless to say, I was a pain in the ass for those 3 months because I wanted to live the way we do when he gets to come home on weekends. He felt badly at first because he wasn't bringing in the money it takes to live that way for 3 months straight, but then he started to get annoyed with me for always wanting to go out. My bitching that I wanted to go places, and his being annoyed with me turned into arguments pretty quickly. You know, if I could go back and have him home all the time, I would gladly adjust my lifestyle to fit our financial situation. He's only been gone a total of 8 days out of the last 12 and I miss him so much already.
Well, it's almost 5 a.m. and I've gone on and on... so sorry to anyone who has actually read this far. I'm off to bed. Lots to do tomorrow! |
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| Aunt Susan's Birthday Party |
[Jan. 23rd, 2005|01:58 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
Tonight we braved the blowing snow to go to Keith's aunt Susan's birthday party. They live out in the country where the houses are about 1/2 a mile apart and there are tons of empty fields. If you live in an area where it snows, you understand blowing snow and the problems it causes. We had to drive on roads that had up to 3 ft. drifts to get there and back! There weren't many guests due to the weather I'm sure, because she usually has a pretty big turn-out for her parties! We all just sat around in their building out back that they have turned into a party room. Susan, her husband Mark, their sons Brandon and Cody, my dad, Zach and April who are friends of the family, and Mark's business partner Lynn, Keith and I were all there. A few people played pool, a couple people sang karaoke, and the rest of us just sat around a table having drinks and talking. It was a nice time! The drive home was just as bad as the drive there, but we made it fine driving my landscaping truck that I bought last summer! I had no idea it would work so well for winter time treks! |
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| So I finally got my hour... |
[Jan. 22nd, 2005|02:51 pm] |
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And it totally sucked! He wanted to go in and lie in bed to spend our hour. Got in there at 2:22 a.m. At 2:30 I was asking how long it had been! Talk about boring! I realized that we have absoultely nothing to talk about! Nada, Zilch! So the minutes drug on as we tried to think of something to do... no t.v., no radio, no computer, no games, nothing to do and nothing to talk about! We only lasted about 40 minutes, then said "screw it!" When we got up today, he came in the kitchen and actually cooked breakfast (which is awesome because he doesn't cook very often) while I washed some dishes! That was pretty cool! We'll see how our hour goes today! |
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| Waiting for my hour.... |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|11:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
Keith and I were having some pretty serious problems over the past week or so, and to remedy this problem, we vowed to spend 1 hour a day (or night)together without arguing! We started this on Tuesday night. So Tuesday night we spent our hour playing Scrabble, (he won both times), Wednesday we spent our hour playing dice, and Thursday night he spent his hour watching a movie with my friend Tracy, and I spent my hour updating my journal and talking through IM with my friend Tammy! So much for that! So tonight, I wonder if he'll actually take the time to spend alone with me! The rules for this hour are quite simple... No T.V., No Computer, No Arguing! That's all... yet he is finding it very difficult to leave the television, and I am finding it difficult to leave my computer!
I am really trying to analyze this. Trying to figure out why it's easier for me to sit here in front of the computer doing who cares what, than it is to sit for an hour with my husband. Is it because if I find an error or get confused by something in my computer, either Tammy fixes it for me or I find a way to do it in a google search? In real life, I don't know how to fix problems when they arise. The concept of having my hubby completely wiped and reinstalling only the programs that I need has crossed my mind! LOL Is it because if there is something about my computer that I don't like, I can change it? Unfortunately my husband is the most stubborn entity on the planet! Once his mind is made up, there's no changing it! Right or Wrong, he will stand by his decision and go down in flames if he has to! I personally see the great value of this determination, however, it really has no place in our marriage! I know that the idea of marrying someone and then changing them is totally insane... it's been tried for eons to no avail. I don't so much want to change him, I just want him to see that compromise is one of the essentials in a marriage!
I guess I just feel neglected sometimes. I feel like I come in somewhere near the bottom of his list of top 10 priorities. I feel like he would rather watch television or play games on his computer than spend quiet time with me. Hopefully these feelings will pass.... |
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| Ahhhhh, the snow! |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|02:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | content | ] |
YUCK! So it snowed the past couple days, then today it started to melt, which is terrible for the people who drive black cars. The forcast is for 8 - 10 inches of snow overnight tonight, with wind! Snow isn't so bad, but when it's windy too... WOW what a mess! The good news is that I went to the grocery store today and there was about 20 gallons of milk and 10 loaves of bread left! We had a little ice storm a couple weeks ago, and by the time I got to the store, the only bread left was the $3 a loaf stuff. I was a great bargain shopper today. I got plenty of groceries for us and my dad, even beer, all for under $100. Pretty exciting when you're me. I am a great bargain shopper when it comes to clothes and other stuff, but terrible at saving money at the grocery store. I think it's because I like to cook so well, so I don't make anything "simple". Keith would probably be happy with a couple different kinds of sandwich meat and a bag of chips, but I would rather destroy the kitchen making some elaborate meal! LOL
That's all I have to say for now! |
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snowbirdstac's journal
